Volume 81: The Evolution of Love

Posted on 03/18/2014


Ellis and Michelle at the Olive DropHey blog family! Sorry I missed last week. My life is hectic right now, but I am committed to regular posts so I was determined to post this week.

Today is a special day in my life. It is my wedding anniversary. My wife and I were married on March 18, 2000 and are beating the odds every day by staying together. We have had good times and bad times and times where it looked like we weren’t going to make it. But, we found that it was going to be harder to be apart than it was to stay together. Yes. Sometimes people care for one another so much that separating is more distressful than staying together and working through the tough times.

I thank her for that.

So, the rest of this post is a re-post of one that I wrote a few years ago. It is just as meaningful for me today as it was then. I hope my old readers enjoy reliving it and my new readers enjoy it for the first time. It’s called: The Evolution of Love.

I first met her when I was sixteen.

She was shy. I was innocent.

It was…..pure.

Fun. Exciting. Mysterious. Scary.

She felt comfortable – like an old shoe;

and uncomfortable – cuz I didn’t know what to do.

When I thought of her, I sighed.

And when she left, I cried.

Her name was Love.

I met her again a few years later.

I thought I was ready this time.

I was confident….well, cocky.

This time… I knew her.

This time… She didn’t know me.

She did not change.

I did.

I was… Empty. Defiant. Unreliable. Incapable.

She was… Patient. Kind. Deserving. Special.

We were together and yet,

I missed her…

Her name was Love.

I met her again as fate would have it.

We were… Uncontrolled. Passionate. Reckless. Jealous.

She changed… or was it me?

I knew her, but she didn’t know me.

I was ready, but wasn’t really.

I was… Guarded. Confused. Immature. Unstable.

She was… Naive. Trusting. Playful. Sensuous.

She taught… How to know her.

I learned… more about me.

Her name was Love.

I learned she never leaves.

I learned she never changes.

I learned to love her the way she loved me.

She watched as I played.

She watched as I prayed.

She was… Friend. Companion. Compassionate. Clairvoyant.

She saw… Potential and Fear. Tragedy and Triumph;

and loved me the same.

I recognized her from each time I met her,

and loved her for it.

I found… the most important love that could be.

And that was…

The love inside of me.

I realized something as I was thinking about this week’s post. Love doesn’t change. If it does, was it really love? Think about the unconditional love you receive from a parent – or a child. That love is strong and pure. It loves you despite of, not because of. Far too often we place parameters on our partners. We have an internal list of minimum criteria that they must meet in order to receive all the love we have to give them. What if you put your pride, fear, and scorecard aside and just loved them unconditionally? Do you think that you would get the love you need in return? Do you think that you would get more? There is a gospel song that I like called Let Go (Let God). I have a different version of that song: Let Go, Let Love. When we let go of our apprehension; when we let go of our reservations; when we let go of our baggage; when we let go of what society tells us about love; then, and only then, will we be equipped to find the love that we deserve.


I dedicate this post to my loving wife. She loves me despite of, not because of. She loved me when I didn’t love myself and was being self-destructive. She is a testament to what can happen when you love someone unconditionally. She will be the first to tell you that it wasn’t easy. I know there were times she wanted to have a Marvin Gaye “Makes Me Wanna Holla” moment and throw up both her hands; but she saw in me what, at times, I could not. She helped me love myself. And for that, I am forever grateful.

That’s just my three cents…


“Peep my ver-na-cular cuz I don’t know how to act…”