Volume 49: Quiet the Noise

Posted on 09/21/2010

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Last week, I wrote in my post, Divine Intervention, about the concept of “emotional noise”. Many of my readers liked that concept and sent me messages asking me to expand the definition. So, this week, I’m going to listen to my readers’ requests and post a excerpt from my book, Knowing and Living Your Truth, explaining further how emotional noise can affect our lives. The passages below are directly from the rough draft of my manuscript. I hope to have it published later this year. I encourage your feedback and thank you for your support!

Quiet the Noise

As a self-appointed “guru”, I have had many conversations with people regarding their behavioral and emotional issues. In those conversations, I have noticed similar thematic elements preventing them from identifying, knowing, and living their truth. One of those elements is pervasive low self-esteem or sense of self-worth. They have early childhood histories of abuse or abandonment that served as the catalyst for their deflated sense of self. The messages of “no one loves me” and “I’m not good enough” can stick with us throughout our lives. Those messages can drive us to, or deter us from success.

Imagine, if you will, a serene lake. Then, someone approaches that lake and throws a large rock into the water. Where the rock hits represents the moment in our life where we began formulating and accepting those detrimental messages about ourselves. The messages ride each ripple out as they affect every aspect of our lives. When I was a counselor, my first objective was to find out what message was formulated and internalized. Then, I would identify at what point the rock hit the water. This is a pivotal moment because this is were we stop narrating our own story and begin to let external “noise” define who we are and what we are to be.

The theories that we adopt regarding who and what we are, is what I call psychic or emotional noise. The balance of the noise is that it can propel us to become extremely successful – like Terrell Owens – or it can hinder our progress completely. Most of us find that we cycle through moments of peace and stability and moments of sabotage and insecurity. We are neither successful, nor unsuccessful. That’s the problem with not knowing your truth. Even when we are successful, we still work to quiet (or disprove) the noise.

Our emotional noise is never satisfied. It has an insatiable appetite for reassurance. I know first-hand about this noise because I developed my own brand of it. I remember playing sports as a young adult. Winning was the only thing that brought me to some sort of equilibrium. Losing was not an option because it only increased the noise. My noise was a child that wanted his father to be there to see how good he was. I played hard to be the best because, deep down, I believed that if I was “good enough”; he would finally show up to my games. To this day, he still hasn’t; and I’m okay with that.

In addition to our noise never being satisfied, our noise likes company. Our noise compels us to seek assessment at all times. We constantly need feedback regarding how we are doing. The assessment can be small, like asking your mate how you look; or, they can be larger, like the ones you get at work. Without the constant assessments, you noise can become louder. The louder they become, the more insecure you can become. If your noise becomes too loud, it throws you out of balance. Being out of balance robs you of the control of your personal truth power.

Conclusion

There you have it. A small piece on emotional noise and how it can throw us out of balance and rob us of our personal truth power. The next section talks about noise and balance but I can’t give away my book. You wouldn’t want or need to purchase it, LOL! Seriously, take some time to find out what your noise is and when your rock hit the water? Self reflection is the only path to self-actualization. You didn’t get your diploma without studying, learning, and passing exams to prove yourself worthy. How can you pass the toughest test of all (your life) without being completely comfortable with the subject matter (you)? If you think you can do that, then you’re just talking some noise.

That’s just my three cents…

Sill-E

“Peep my ver-na-cular cuz I don’t know how to act…”

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