Volume 47: The Isht Some People Say!

Posted on 09/08/2010

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Make you believe me, I will.

Ok fans! I looked at my recent posts and realized something: I’ve been a little soft lately. Now, that is a part of who I am; but it is not all of who I am. I also am that dude that will cuss a mother father out (if necessary). I was that dude that took pride in saying the things that people thought, but never would say. I considered myself unafraid and acted like I was going to get a merit badge for that, LOL! Anyway, as I was preparing my SilleMoments Blackberry Letter for my segment on the 3 Degrees of Separation Talk Show (Tuesday evenings, 8:00 PM EST), I came up with a list of things that people say in relationships that don’t mean isht. The irony is that I’ve said each and every one of these things and never really meant them (maybe). These statements are meant to confuse an already confusing situation. They move our thoughts and actions from the rational to the irrational and emotional. Now, under the right circumstances, being emotional is okay; but, sometimes I gotta shake my head at “The Isht Some People Say!”

My Top 5 – In Reverse Order

5. What was your last BF/GF like? – This question, to the listener, sounds like you’re really interested in finding out more about the person you like. Wrong! Wrong! (Charlie Murphy reference.) This question, from a male perspective, is to get the blueprint on how to be the antithesis of what dude did to make her wanna be back on the market. When we break up with someone, we tend to “overcorrect” by attempting to find someone different. But, can we do that really? If I look back over the women that I have truly loved over the years; they ALL had similar personalities. Some of them even looked alike, LOL! What I’m saying is please don’t fall for the “he’s different” okey-doke? Next…

4. If I woulda met you (insert time frame here) my life would be different right now. Really? How? I’m serious. How would it be different? The complexity of the human mind allows us to imagine different scenarios – sometimes simultaneously. However, how could you have met this person at a different time? It was the choices you made to get you to this point in time. You can’t undo all of those choices to magically move someone to the past (or future). This statement is ill-conceived, illogical, and idiotic. And yet, we swallow it down like some cyanide-laced Kool-Aid, LOL! Have you ever thought that you might not have liked this person five years ago, or five years from now? No, you didn’t. Did you? This statement is dating’s equivalent of the Jedi mind trick. I’m waiting for Yoda to show up every time I hear someone use that line, LOL! Next…

3. It’s not you, it’s me (or something similar). The wording itself plays tricks on the mind. It had to have been a pimp to come up with some isht like this. I mean, really, it’s a great line. Imagine this: You’re breaking up with someone – which means, in essence, it IS them – but you get them to believe they’re better off without you. (I’m chuckling as I’m writing this.) Brilliant! Hey, next time you want to say that, try this instead, “I’m really tired of being with you because you’re not the one for me; but, it’s not you, it’s me.” That’s probably closer to the truth, LOL! Next…

2. It is what it is. It pains me to have this phrase in my top five. Hell, this was my go-to phrase to get out of saying what I really felt about the person or the relationship. The conversation would be very short and something like this: Random chick: What is this that we are doing? Me: It is what it is. WTF! I’m slapping myself for that one, LOL! Wow! That phrase is what I call “emotional spackle”. It fills in the gap between how you really feel about the person and how they feel about you. Typically they project what they feel or desire into that statement, which will usually buy another couple of weeks before you have to have another “relationship convo”. Finally…

1. I normally don’t do this. You don’t? Then, why now? Ohhhhhh, the person you met is that special that you would break all of your rules regarding relationships? Nooooowwwwww I get it. Give me a break! I got a question: Who are you trying to convince with this statement? It must be yourself because you damn sure ain’t fooling the person that you’re with. Normally, women use this on one night stands; and men use it when they are trying to make someone feel extra special. Let me let you in on a secret: If you genuinely “don’t do this”, a person with good intentions will already know that without it being said. #imjustsayin

Conclusion

There it is! My top five of The Isht Some People Say! Do you, or have you heard of any others? I’d like to get this list out to ten so I need for you to come up with five more to finish out my list. I will say it now, and I will say it again, “People do what works for them in relationships/dating.” You teach people how to treat you. If you allow for them to make vacuous statements that are more confusing than confirming, then I say, “You do you, and I’mma do me, LOL!” *Kanye shrug*

That’s just my three cents…

Sill-E

“Peep my ver-na-cular cuz I don’t know how to act…”

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