Volume 45: Forgive Them Lord…

Posted on 08/24/2010


Those of you that know me (and are friends of mine on Facebook) realize that I have grown to be more religious as I have gotten older. I’ve always considered myself to be “spiritual”, but never religious. Religion required more from me than my self-proclaimed “spirituality”. Religion required me to make decisions and be more disciplined in my life and actions which, quite frankly, I wasn’t prepared to do. Nevertheless, my mother’s “Just Live” advice popped up again and I realized that as a husband and parent, I had to be more decisive and disciplined. Now my D&D journey is still a work in progress, but that’s a blog for another occasion, LOL! Anyway, the wife and I like to go to the Couples Ministry Sunday School before service (or after). This past week, one of the men said he watched a religious program about the human body and how God has provided us all we need to be able to heal ourselves – provided the conditions are right to prevent infection. He equated that lesson to marriage/relationships. He suggested that if God is truly present in a marriage/relationship, then it would be able to overcome any problems that occur. In effect, the relationship would be able to “heal itself”. Hmmmmmmm… Interesting… How many relationships are out there trying to make it without God being present? And, are those the relationships/marriages contributing the the exorbitantly high divorced and single-parented homes out there? Thinking about relationships in those terms really made me take a step back. And, while I don’t believe in judging anyone; regarding people who get married or in a relationship without having some sort of spiritual guide or presence available I say, “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do.”

Do As I Do, Not As I Say

If I were to take a summary of my life… ummmmm, let’s just say that I’m not looking to be confirmed a saint any time soon – especially when it comes to relationships. However, the few times I have been in love, I found it difficult to repair the hurt that I (or she) caused because we did not have a foundation for forgiveness, understanding, compassion, and sacrifice. How can a relationship/marriage survive without those cornerstones of connection? Society gives us soooooo many “outs” from a so-called “commitment” that it feels like it’s harder to stay together and “committed”, than it is to break up. Maybe it’s the cliché about misery loving company; or maybe it’s because we are trending towards a more selfish society – I don’t know. I DO know that being self-less is tantamount to creating a lasting relationship. And, I DO know that all religions call for followers to deny the self and sacrifice for the greater good. Call me crazy, but that sounds like a solid foundation to build a relationship upon.


If you are concerned about this blog turning into one that is more bombastic and pius; don’t worry, it won’t. As I stated earlier, my sainthood confirmation got permanently “lost in the mail”, LOL! I will say that I would be remiss in not expressing all my beliefs when it comes to building stronger marriages/relationships. Even if you are not religious by nature, you cannot help but acknowledge the similarities between following a religious doctrine and establishing and maintaining a stable relationship. Honesty, love, truth, compassion, sacrifice, respect, forgiveness, and discipline are just a few of the similarities that come to mind. Knowing and living your truth runs parallel with some religious tenets. Do you have to believe in God or a higher power to know and live your truth? No. At the same time, I have found it easier to establish and maintain my truth by adding religion as part of it. Sometimes, as my Pastor would say, the flesh is weak. Truth, and God in the truth, remain consistent. “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32)

That’s just my three cents…


“Peep my ver-na-cular cuz I don’t know how to act…”