Volume Forty: Water Seeks Its Own Level

Posted on 07/20/2010


My Wife, Daughter, and In-Laws

There are a few of you that have met my family. And, I don’t mean my immediate family, I mean my extended family of relatives – mother, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Those of you that have realize quickly that my “colorful” nature was not spontaneously generated. It was born out of necessity. It was my need for survival. If I didn’t develop a quick wit and keen intellect (IMHO), I would have been chewed up and spit out; or, in more urban vernacular, chopped and screwed, LOL! And, what’s most dangerous in this scenario is that we are from the south. What that means is that we have the unique ability of summarizing what we mean in colorful statements that – to the simple mind – has little to no meaning. But, to someone who thinks abstractly, these sayings can provide one a paradigm shift. Most of my sayings come from my mother, who can be the most colorful of all my relatives (I love you mom!). One of her favorite sayings to me as a child growing up is the subject of today’s blog. On the surface, it is a statement of scientific fact. However, when applied to behavior in relationships, the meaning is decidedly complex. The saying is simply, Water Seeks Its Own Level.

Southern Sensibilities

In the south, our sense of hospitality prevents us from overtly offending someone. We rarely, if ever, tell someone how we truly feel or think about them. I do declare that that would be too unsavory an action to undertake, LOL! In response, we have developed a system of sayings to get our point across without directly confronting or offending our intended target. So, when I was in high school and going through my rebellious stage, I found myself in more trouble than I knew what to do with. And, as any child would, I began blaming my friends for the offending actions and declared myself to be an innocent bystander. My mother simply responded, “Son, water seeks its own level,” and left it at that. I did not know what the hell she was talking about then; but I do now.

What’s Your Level?

Seeking your own level means that the people with whom you surround yourself are a reflection of you and who you are. You cannot immerse yourself in sea of people with unsocial behavior, then claim to be innocent of having similar qualities. What attracts you to them in the first place? Why are you still hanging with them? What’s your personal gain for maintaining this relationship? That is, IF it’s just them that is displaying the unsocial behavior. In a relationship, it is an excuse or cop-out to say, “I seem to only attract losers.” Hmmmmm? What signals are you sending out? How do you really feel about yourself? About what you deserve in a relationship? If the people you keep dating turn out to be losers, is this what you unconsciously believe you deserve? Water seeks its own level. It can do it actively or passively.


I could belabor this point more; but, that would be in violation of the southern tradition of simplicity. Those of you that get the saying, got it early and finished the blog as a courtesy to me. Thank you. Those of you that missed it: Please read it again or send me a follow-up question for more clarity. Knowing and living your truth will answer many of the questions posed in the previous section. Do you know who you are at your core? Do you accept who that person is? Do you live your truth every day, and in all facets of your life? The contradiction of the southern way versus living your truth is apparent. Being coy, and exercising innuendo is not living your truth. Nevertheless, it is the sayings that can help put us on the path of finding our truth. So, this was my subtle way of getting you to examine your friends and partners as a vehicle for you to examine yourself. The next time I’ll just tell you up front, so it won’t stick out behind…

That’s just my three cents…


“Peep my ver-na-cular cuz I don’t know how to act…”

PS – There is a trumpet sounding in the background as I write this post. Why? Because it is the 20th post of the new format of Sill-E Thoughts. It has been fun ride to this point. You have ceased to amaze me; and I truly appreciate your support. We may not be the biggest blog; but we know that we are one of the best. Thank you, again, for your support.