Volume Thirty-Five: Dear Other Woman…

Posted on 06/15/2010

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Dear Other Woman,

Thank you. Thank you for making me feel they way I used to in my primary relationship. Thank you for all the fun and excitement and spontaneity that I needed. Thank you for wanting to be with me – just me – and not appearing to care about all the other stuff that comes with a relationship. Thank you for letting me forget about my problems ( if only for a moment). It takes a special person to be an “other woman”, and you are that special. BUT, a relationship is not just a collection of stolen good moments. A relationship is defined more by how you navigate the difficult ones too. A relationship is one where you move from the self-ish to the self-less. We were being selfish, and that’s no way to be in a true relationship.

Ultimately, you cost me more than you brought to me. You made me lose respect. I lost respect for myself. I lost respect for my significant other. I lost respect from my significant other. I lost respect from my friends. I even lost respect from you. More than respect, I lost trust. Yes, I lost the trust of all of these people. Not all of their trust because they know I’ll keep their secrets –  but, that’s a superficial trust – like the trust among thieves. I don’t like that feeling. I want my relationships to have more meaning than that. I want my relationships to have depth.

What I want you to know is that you are a good person. You have something to offer. You need to learn that for yourself. You need to be able to give 100% to someone who can give you 100% back – IF that’s what you want? I am choosing to make more responsible choices. I am choosing to be with someone who I can be with 100%. I am choosing to live with integrity, dignity, love, and respect. Thank you for reminding me what I was missing. The good and the bad. A real relationship has both.

Yours truly,

A taken man…

Disclaimer: Good writers write from personal and collective or vicarious experience. Please focus on the content of this letter and not if I wrote it to or for someone. I know that most of the mature adults that read my blog get it, but there are a few out there that might not. Therefore, the disclaimer.

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