Volume Thirty-three: Summer Madness

Posted on 06/03/2010


I don’t know how it began, but summer officially began Monday. Now, those of us that have any real sense of the seasons understands that the summer solstice doesn’t really begin until June; but, years of education have conditioned all of us to equate the beginning of summer with the end of the school year. Having a national holiday right there (Memorial Day) doesn’t help that conditioning either. So, now that “summer” has started, we gear ourselves up for a summer of fun. We find the plethora of restaurant patios offering cool concoctions to please our palates. Staying late at work is just a little harder because you know happy hour is jumpin’ off somewhere. And, you start your countdown for your trip with your friends to a hot vacation destination that will do two things: 1) Give your skin a natural glow that will make you the envy of your office; and/or, 2) Give you a Stella-like story to add icing to the cake that is summer vacation. Yes, we all love the allure and promise of summer. Our desire to have fun and be romantic is so powerful and irresistible that I call them the symptoms of Summer Madness.

Madness Defined

Unless you’re new to sillethoughts.com (if you are, thank you and welcome), you know that I believe in the power of words and using them in the proper context. So, let us first define madness to gain some clarity regarding what happens to us in the summer. Dictionary.com defines madness several ways: 1) the state of being mad; insanity, 2) senseless folly, 3) frenzy; rage, and 4) intense excitement or enthusiasm. Some of these definitions are oxymoronic in nature. I mean, how can we be both insane and enthusiastic at the same time? Yet, when the context of relationships is applied, we find that we can move from the oxymoronic to the just plain moronic.

What makes it madness is that we tend to accelerate, or forego altogether, the “traditional relationship” model during the summer. Haven’t we all had a “summer fling”? Think back to yours…(some of us have to go farther back, but we’ve had them, LOL!). Weren’t those relationships more fun and full of frivolity than your “traditional relationships”? I mean, sometimes, we never had the official “we’re together” talk, nor the “we’re breaking up” talk. It just started and ended without words being spoken. You both knew what it was from beginning to end, had no expectations, and were okay with it. Why is that? Two words: Summer Madness.

Full Disclosure: I miss the Summer Madness relationships. I’m not lamenting over my current relationship situation, however, there’s a certain care-free element to those summer relationships that gets lost in the “traditional” kind. We behaved in those relationships like we both had only three months left on this planet to spend together. We attacked it with “intense excitement and enthusiasm” to the point of “senseless folly”. Yes, we lived and loved hard – always knowing it was ending soon. There was no time for pretense. We were raw. We were real. We were true.


I’m getting a little nostalgic and introspective now. What stops us from living out our Summer Madness in our “traditional relationships?” I mean, why can’t be as raw, real, and true with ourselves and our partners as we were for those three-month flings? Is it because we know it’s gonna end soon and we won’t have to face our vulnerability much longer? Is it because long-term “traditional relationships” are supposed to have specifically defined roles and goals. Short answer: I don’t know. I do know that I need to add a little Summer Madness to my relationship. I need to add more “intense excitement and enthusiasm.” I need to add  more frivolity and fun. I know that the “insanity” that comes with Summer Madness can lead to the most sane, stable, and successful “traditional relationship.” My question is, are you ready to go a little crazy?

That’s just my three cents…


“Peep my ver-na-cular cuz I don’t know how to act…”