Volume Four: The Top Money Scams That We All Fall For…

Posted on 03/05/2009

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The blog reads better if you hit play on the YouTube link. It is not the video for the song, just the audio.

This list is in no particular order… I tried to order them and it became too daunting a task. So, I’ve decided to ask you to order them from worst to first. Also, if you come up with another one, feel free to add it as a comment. The more, the merrier. Let’s get started…

1. TICKETMASTER – I know I said that I wasn’t gonna put them in order, but this is my personal favorite. Let’s see, TM doesn’t do isht and they have found a way to get money from the artist, the venue, AND the consumer! That’s the scam trifecta. What’s even better is that you get charged a “convenience fee”. Whaaaat!? Is it convenient to pay $32 for a ticket that was supposed to cost $25? That’s some bullisht and they know it…

2. BOTTLED WATER – Here’s the reason why this makes my list. Companies are constantly getting into trouble with environmental folks for polluting the water. Our water reservoirs are so polluted that we’d probably get skin cancer from swimming in, let alone drinking the stuff. Then, here comes a company that will purify the polluted isht and sell it to us for $1.50 per bottle. The comedy is that we create more pollution by all those empty plastic bottles. Isn’t capitalism grand?

3. EVENT PARKING – Okay. Sooooo you want me to come to your area, stadium, concert hall, in support of your event, but then you charge me $15-$20 for getting there? Oh, and you can’t guarantee the safety of my vehicle, nor the content? Not to mention the endless hoard of substance abusers asking for money while I’m walking the eight blocks to the arena. No thanks.

4. INSURANCE – WTF! We pay monthly premiums (that name is ironic, isn’t it?) so we won’t be overwhelmed financially in the event of an accident, flood, theft, fire, etc. But they don’t want you to actually use the insurance. I was once dropped by State Farm for one accident (that cost them $180) after paying 5 years of premiums at $110/month. Their letter said I was a risk. Risk to what? I guess I didn’t read the clause that stated that they didn’t want me to actually use the policy.

5. iTUNES – It hurts me to put this on the list – especially since I am rarely without my iPod or iPhone playing music. I have personally spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $800-$900 downloading music, videos, television shows, etc. What makes it a scam is that you can’t share the music with anyone (other than playing it aloud for them). You can’t even share the music between your own computers! My laptop has different music on it than my desktop. Whyyyyy? Because iTunes only allows me to use multiple computers to purchase music, not share music. Brillant!

6. WORKING FROM HOME – I’m probably gonna hit a nerve with this one, but this is one that has to make this list. It’s a money scam in reverse. So you get to stay home and not take a vacation day? The one or two of you that are as productive at home than at the office can skip to the next scam. The rest of you know you’re stealing eight hours of money on that day. News Flash:  Taking the kids to the doctor, going to the gym at 10:00, sleeping in, shopping and lunch with your friends is not considered “working”.

7. VALENTINES DAY – I know I just stepped into it with this one, but “I don’t give a f–k!” (You have to say it like Smokey in Friday for full effect.) Let’s see, Valentines Day has become a competition. For men, we drop so much cash on lavish gifts, trips, dinners, etc., that we could have fed a starving family for a week.  Women get bragging rights with their girlfriends. Seems a little one-sided, don’t you think? Oh, did I mention that it was created by the greeting card and associated industries? I’ll choose to show my significant other my affections on another day, thank you…

8. COVER CHARGES/VELVET ROPE – Maybe it’s just me. If so, let me vent for a moment. Having assisted in the throwing of parties in the past, I do understand the thought behind letting the crowd build outside before the doors open. Nevertheless, if you’re gonna make me wait 30-45 minutes to get in, then charge me $20, at least show me the courtesy of kissing me before you do it. Oh, and what’s worse is that you can pay more to skip the velvet rope line. All told, I might be out $100 (if you include parking) and haven’t had one drink yet! C’mon Chris! That’s a c-o-n spiracy…

9. BANK ATM FEES – It’s gotta be highway robbery paying up to 25% in fees to get $20 out of an ATM? And the fees are getting larger all the time. BoA charges non-account holders $3 to use their terminals. Did I miss something? Is getting money out of their terminals such a special experience that it must cost more to do it? Give us free!

10. DISNEY WORLD – Growing up in Florida, I have been to the Magic Kingdom many many times. Back in the day, it used to cost us $25 to get into the park. Now, an adult ticket costs $75. Why is that a money scam? Because the damn park and rides haven’t changed appreciably since the 80’s! It’s a small small world? How ’bout, it’s a damn damn shame that people can spend over $200 before they set foot in the park. Don’t even get me started on the bad food and their prices. At least they serve beer…

Well, there you have it. My top ten list of money scams that we all fall for. Is it comprehensive? Hell no. That’s what you (my readers) are for. Tell me what you think the top money scam on this list is. If you have one that you think is better, let me know. I’m open to, and appreciative of all comments.  Until next time, keep your wallets tight and your thoughts sill-E!

That’s just my three cents…

sill-E

“Peep my ver-na-cular cuz I don’t know how to act…”

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Posted in: Humor